Linux Joke on M$ :-)

[sakiZ]

They say if you play the Windows XP CD backward, you can hear satanic words.


Hey, That's nothing - if you play it forward, it installs Windows XP!

Ha! Ha!

sakiZ

[spandit]

They say if you play the Windows XP CD backward, you can hear satanic words.


Hey, That's nothing - if you play it forward, it installs Windows XP!

Ha! Ha!

sakiZ

on the same topic:
The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better." I can't understand why it won't work on my Linux computer.

It is not too late to turn back from the GATES of hell. Use Linux - the free 32 bit operating system.

Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for.

Got Linux?

Microsoft gives you Windows... Linux gives you the whole house.

Bill Gates did not realize was that his daughter would grow up to be a rebel and would never use anything but Linux for her whole life.

Linux, DOS, Windows NT -- The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment

We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity -- so UP yours, Microsoft!

Linux: The OS people choose without $200,000,000 of persuasion

The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There.

If Bill Gates is the Devil then Linus Torvalds must be the Messiah.

Linux. Where do you want to go tomorrow?

A Linux machine! because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste!

Microsoft is not the answer.
Microsoft is the question.
Linux is the answer.

Linux: The choice of a GNU generation

"When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*'." -- Linus Torvalds

Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117.

By golly, I'm beginning to think Linux really *is* the best thing since sliced bread.

"We all know Linux is great...it does infinite loops in 5 seconds." -- Linus

"Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had." -- Linus

Linux: Where Don't We Want To Go Today?

Vini, vidi, Linux!

Microsoft seems to have gotten a lot of mileage out of the C2 rating for NT with no network connection. I wonder if a B3 rating for Linux with no power cord might be of value.

Linux -- Have you administered a real OS today?

Linux, because we don't need no steenkin' Blue Screen of Death!

Type cat vmlinuz > /dev/audio to hear the Voice of God.

Linux: Because a PC is a terrible thing to waste.

The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first.

Windows NT, from the people who invented EDLIN!

Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses

"What you end up with, after running an operating system concept through these many marketing coffee filters, is something not unlike plain hot water." -- By Matt Welsh

Why use Windows, since there is a door?

Fatal Error: Found MS-Windows System -> Repartitioning Disk for Linux...

Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware

Computers are like air conditioners -- they stop working properly if you open WINDOWS

Windows: Microsoft's tax on computer illiterates.

In a world without fences who needs Gates?

Another name for a Windows tutorial is crash course!

Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.

NT... the last two letters of bowel movement

Some software money can't buy. For everything else there's Micros~1.

Sticks and Stones may break my bones but FUD will never concern me.

Every program expands until it can send mail.
...Except Exchange.

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

.vbs = Virus Bearing Script?

Technology is positive when the creators put the interests of their users before their bottom line.

We are Linux. Resistance is measured in Ohms.

Have you ever noticed that at trade shows Microsoft is always the one giving away stress balls?

"See, you not only have to be a good coder to create a system like Linux, you have to be a sneaky bastard too." -- Linus Torvalds

My computer, my documents, my briefcase, my ASS! (Submitted by Ben Cook)

Linux. When you want to get there today! (Submitted by Jeremy Hinegardner)

I have replaced NT with Linux. Linux -- heir of the byte that dogged me. (Submitted by Allan Willis)

Do you remember when you only had to pay for windows when *you* broke them? (Submitted by Noel Maddy)

Free Software: the Software by the People, of the People and for the People. Develop! Share! Enhance! and Enjoy! (Submitted by Andy Tai)

National Weather Service advice for those threatened by severe thunderstorms: "Go inside a sturdy building and stay away from WINDOWS!" (Submitted by Ben Bullock)

Microsoft should switch to the vacuum cleaner business where people actually want products that suck. (Submitted by Bruno Bratti)

I prefer an OS made by programmers that need marketing that an OS made by marketing that need programmers... Use linux (Submitted by Christian Olivier)

Linux: transforms your microcomputer in a workstation.
Windows NT: transforms your workstation in a microcomputer. (Submitted by Paulo F. Sedrez)

At Microsoft, quality is job 1.1 - Use Linux!

Everyone seems so impatient and angry these days. I think it's because so many people use Windows at work -- do you think you'd be Politeness Man after working on Windows 8 hrs. or more? (Submitted by Chip Atkinson)

NT 5.0 so vaporous it's in danger of being added to the periodic table as a noble gas. (Spotted in a Slashdot discussion)

It's spelled Linux, but it's pronounced `Not Windows'
It's spelled Windows, but it's pronounced `Aieeeeeeee!' (Submitted by Shannon Hendrix)

My Beowulf cluster will beat your Windows NT network any day. (Submitted by wbogardt[at]gte.net)

Get it up, keep it up... LINUX: Viagra for the PC. (Submitted by Chris Abbey)

It's no wonder they call it WinNT; WNT = VMS++; (Submitted by Chris Abbey)

Peace, Love and Compile the kernel.... (Submitted by Justin L. Herreman)

A truly stable environment would be a concrete basement with no windows! Computers are no different. (Submitted by Carey McLelland)

I took the Pepsi challenge and chose Linux. (Submitted by Carey McLelland)

Linux - because software problems should not cost money. (Submitted by Shlomi Fish)

Double your disk space - delete Windows! (Submitted by Albert Dorofeev)

The Edsel. New Coke. Windows 2000. All mandatory case studies for bizschool students in 2020. (From a LinuxToday post by Bear Giles)

If your OS needs a virus detector... RUN!!!
...Out and buy Linux! (Tim Wright)

Windows: Where do you want to go today?
MacOS: Where do you want to be tomorrow?
Linux: Are you coming or what?
(from Linux Journal)

I will never trust someone called GATES that sells WINDOWS. (Submitted by Federico Román)

Linux: There is no conspiracy... yet. (Submitted by Matthew Adair)

The following are from Gareth Barnard:

"Microsoft technology" -- isn't that an oxymoron?

Are you tired of being a crash test dummy for Microsoft? Discover Linux.

MCSE == Mentally Challenged Slave of the Empire.

Linux; a re-Gnu-able resource.

Windows NT -- it'll drive you buggy!

If at first you don't succeed, get a job with Microsoft.

Where do you want to go today? Don't ask Microsoft for directions.

The following are from Laurent Szyster:

Free your software, and your ass will follow

How about some patent on "(a+b)2 == a2+2ab+b2" ... choose free software!

"New Technology" or "Not Trusted"?

Market share leadership is a tenuous thing, Mr. Gates: ask IBM

MS and Y2K: Windows 95, 98, ... and back again to 01

The following are from Havlik Denis:

US Navy uses NT. Saddam, Gadafi, it's party time!

Reset button? Which reset button? - Linux, the OS that never sleeps.

There's the light at the end of the the Windows.

The following are from Ewout Stam:

Linux: Where do you want to GO... Oh, I'm already there!

Windows: Where do you WANT to go TODAY? You WANT to, but you'll never get there. And you can go to only ONE place per day.

Windows contains FAT.
Use Linux -- you won't ever have to worry about your weight.

Microsoft DOS/NT (doesn't) provide the means to WIN!

Crashing is violent; that's why there are more violent games for Windows - and they'll always work.

People use dummies for crash-tests. Windows is so difficult they had to educate the dummies first -- by giving them "Windows for Dummies" books!

The following are from Geoff Johnson:

Q: How many Microsoft Programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It cannot be done. You will need to upgrade your house.

Q: How many Linux users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to write the HOWTO-LIGHTBULB-CRONJOB, and another to read it.

So what is the best way to protect yourself against the ILOVEYOU virus? Install Linux. If that's not an option, try uninstalling Windows.

These slogans were spotted on Slashdot:

Windows: The first user interface where you click Start to turn it off.

NT == No Thanks

Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]

Oh My God! They Killed init! You Bastards!

Yo-yo operating system = WinNT: it goes up..., it goes down..., it goes...

Linux! Works great, less filling.

Linux - It is now safe to turn on your computer.

Windows NT source code now available... download WIN2000.BAS now!

Where do you want Bill Gates to go today?

Microsoft does have a Y2K problem... it's called Linux!

C:\WINDOWS\RUN C:\WINDOWS\CRASH C:\ME\FDISK /usr/src/linux

Windows 2000, Users Zilch

If Microsoft were to vanish, who would we hate next?

The relative speed of a computer, regardless of CPU architecture, is inversely proportional to the number of Microsoft products installed.

I'm not a programmer, but I play one at Microsoft.

To segfault is human; to bluescreen moronic.

If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... Oh wait, he does.

I'm not in favor of senseless Micro$oft bashing. I'm in favor of bashing Micro$oft senseless.

I'm a geek with a journalism degree. I suppose that makes me overqualified for a job with ZDNet. Darn.

It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your source code is?

I'm still waiting for the "Honk if you hate Microsoft" [bumper sticker], but that might get annoying, everyone honking at you.

The relative speed of a computer, regardless of CPU architecture, is inversely proportional to the number of Microsoft products installed.

I'm not a programmer, but I play one at Microsoft.

Every time I think that perhaps we are an advanced race, I turn around and read ramblings on Slashdot, and realize I was wrong.

Microsoft Zen - Become one with the blue screen.

Windows 2000 is more secure than Linux...
Since the machine is offline half of the time because of crashes, it cannot be accessed globally, therefore producing higher security.

Linux: Fast Pane Relief

Given enough time and money, eventually Microsoft will re-invent UNIX.

Linux: the dot in "dot org".

If we added up all of the 2 cents that Slashdot readers gave, I wonder how much sense vs. cents we'd have.

Carpe Daemon -- Seize the background process!

"Microsoft is the epitome of innovation and product quality."
-- This testimonial paid for by Microsoft.

Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.

It's all GNU to me.

Windows hasn't increased computer literacy. It's just lowered the standard.

The best Windows accelerator is that which works at 9.81m/s2

The next hot technology from Microsoft will be object-oriented assembly.

...A Microsoft spokesperson said, "while fighting software piracy is good for our business, highway robbery is our business."

Why would people waste their time developing viruses for Microsoft products when Microsoft does such a good job itself of adding in bugs which crash your system?

The Information Revolution will be fought on the command line.

Windows NT encountered the following error: The operation completed successfully.

With Windows Millennium, Microsoft was able to get the boot time down to 25 seconds. That's almost as short as it's uptime.

The Internet interprets advertising as damage and routes around it.

Windows 2000: Designed for the Internet. The Internet: Designed for UNIX.

Accept risk. Accept responsibility. Put a lawyer out of business.

A beowulf cluster of Cisco routers? Isn't that the Internet?

Windows 98 hasn't crashed for me once in over a year, either. Oh, wait, I haven't booted it in over a year.

Geeks aren't interested in politics because government doesn't double its efficiency and speed once every 18 months.

For more than 4 generations the IT Professionals were the guardians of quality and stability in software. Before the dark times. Before Microsoft...

You all have to admit that Microsoft products provide a quality unmatched by any other company. That is why I am switching to 100% pure shredded Microsoft certificates of authenticity in my hamster's cage.

Linux: Because rebooting is for adding hardware
Solaris: Because you don't need to reboot to add hardware
Windows: Because rebooting is for adding hardware, adding software, regularly scheduled downtime, and should also be done on a daily basis to keep the machine running.

Slight disorientation after prolonged system uptime is normal for new Linux users. Please do not adjust your browser.

Unix: Where /sbin/init is still Job 1.


borrowed from humorix humbly

[chris-harry]

let me just say this... i couldnt finish reading the posts, because it started to hurt while laughing...

[Kowood]

These are the funny.

Windows: Where do you want to go today? Well, call tech support, order a ticket there, drive to the terminal, wait a bit, get patted down, board the plane, and then crash.

[chris-harry]

on a tropical island with some type of crazzy monster (aka me with a Bill gates mask on (or either george bush)) and have a couple of tv camera's around, and call it lost...

then, just watch a whole heap of inboard plane tv, and just add in as much C*** as you see...

then, call it interesting... and people will watch it..

[chris-harry]

copying someone's ideas and calling them yours is plagiarizim, but with microsoft is just called ideas...

<--refer to the new graphical layout longhorn is going to have to even get me really really bad joke... i know, real bad joke...