Pattern Recognition

Look all, I hate to be a pain in the a$$
but im a n00b f00l just trying to do my part of the revolution
and i don't know jack about linux
so i begin with knoppix
i got the man command down so i gots lots to read.....
but i'd really like to get myself connected to the internet....
but of course i'm stuck at the "no supported network card found" error
just like the angryguy before me.... and looking back thru your forum a number of nobs who just can't seem to get things straightened....
funny thing is i've searched FAQ's & no luck,
i look at how many people read this other guy's post & compared to the one right after him! huh! no one seems to be able to help him (or me) out.
Now, i can't imagine how many people have the SAME problem, with seeming little documentation or solution out there- but i'd really like to get this thing rolling after all i just can't support that micro-sucker any more.
a plea!? lets just setup a a SIMPLE FAQ on getting Knoppix actually live networking.... please?