How about a superserver.

I have tried over many nights to create this monstrosity, but so far not much luck.

A 3 interface box with an ethernet ADSL router, Wireless access point, and my home network.

Use knoppix Terminal server for internal net-boot clients (just dhcp for windows), and Samba server.

use dyndns and ddclient to tell me where it is when away from home.

frees/wan for WiFi access when at home on my notebook.

bind resolving my internal ip's and forwarding to the proxy on my adsl router.

tranparent squidcache to service redirects from iptables. (fwbuilder?)

getmail, gotmail, and yosucker to get my mail.

mrtg to keep my ISP honest. (Have an issue with them at the moment, They have been metering at least 25% more than what my router shows)

imp to serve my mail via apache https when away from home.

from internet terminate ssh, https, ipsec-vpn (with nat traversal)

So far have only ddclient, and getmail working. Now stuck on imp.