Basically what i'm guessing is that with both interfaces , knoppix for some reason defaults to the wireless one and brings it up as eth0. The ifup scheme is just to see whether the wired interface can be brought into operation as eth1, then made to work.

If you can disable the wireless before boot and you're getting eth0 messages then we should explore that more. Its possible that knoppix sees your wired interface as eth0 and it just needs to be configured. With wireless disabled do you see a entry for eth0 when you run ifconfig?

By the way..worst case scenario...if we dont make it (most likely) how long (more or less) would i have to wait for my laptop to become "mature" enough for linux...?
It can probably be made to work, now, just need to find the right combination of things. As new versions of knoppix, kanotix , mepis and ubuntu are released you might find one that works "out of the box".