UMMM,,, nice try...

but...

root@murray:~# perl -v

This is perl, v5.8.3 built for i386-linux-thread-multi

Copyright 1987-2003, Larry Wall

Perl may be copied only under the terms of either the Artistic License or the
GNU General Public License, which may be found in the Perl 5 source kit.

Complete documentation for Perl, including FAQ lists, should be found on
this system using `man perl' or `perldoc perl'. If you have access to the
Internet, point your browser at http://www.perl.com/, the Perl Home Page.

root@murray:~# which apxs
/usr/bin/apxs