Microsoft Announces New Venture To Boost Sagging Revenues

**sakiZ** · 08-18-2005, 09:20 PM

AP - Redmond, WA. Aug 18, 2005

MICROSOFT TO SELL AD SPACE IN ERROR MESSAGES

Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) has announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time it has begun to lose market share to Linux and that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression.

"We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a 'General Protection Fault' or 'Illegal Operation' warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror. He also mentioned that Microsoft is intended to add banner ads into its Blue Screen of Death in the near future.

The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.

Following the Justice Dept's announcement that it intends to investigate Microsoft's monopoly on error messages and its intent to gain ad revenue from them, Steve Ballmer, Chief Executive Officer of Micosoft, issued a scathing retaliation.

Said Ballmer who called an immediate press conference, "It's a free market. We hold no monopoply on error messages. If Apple or the Linux community wishes to create error messages for their systems, they completely free to do so. We believe that we are exercising our right to compete in the market place. We are the leader in error messages and we intend to stay #1 in that area. We will fight any attempt to encroach on our market share."

Justice Dept. spokespersons could not be reached for comment on Ballmer's press conference.

**eco2geek** · 08-18-2005, 09:34 PM

**sakiZ** · 08-23-2005, 04:27 PM

Man, there must be a ton of bucks to be made in this error message angle.

sakiZ

**bongski55** · 08-24-2005, 05:25 AM

Linux and Knoppix is not immune to error screen so it can also use the same idea to earn cash!

**Cuddles** · 08-24-2005, 03:03 PM

Hillarious

Eco2Geek, already jumped in with what I was thinking about

Possibly, as an attempt to foster better "team-work" and commeradory between Linux and Windows, maybe an ad that states something like this, could be in the offering:

Next time, use Linux, and you wont see this message ( ? )

Hmmm, but, I think the Justice Department is correct, though, I really DO think Microsoft would have an unfair advantage in the "Error Ad" Market-place - they already have the Virus Protection Software companies in profit, day by day, they keep getting more, and more, money... Not to mention, when Microsoft releases a new OS version... The Virus Software Market increases, the Security ( firewall and such ) Markets increase, and tons of "internet bandwidth", is lost everyday, on every Windows user having to install new patches, security updates, and viri signature updaes, almost, every minute of any day... It appears, that, Microsoft has - even more - of a monopoly on things, that even I, didnt realize they had !

If Microsoft ever released a "good" OS; one without Security, or viris, or update issues - You'd think they have everyone in there pocket, not to mention, alternative Operating Systems, would cease to exist... Sure glad Microsoft, and Windows, cant seem to get it "right" - ( or I'd be bashing my own OS, right now )

Reminds me of the "roll-out" of Windows 95 - with so many "errors" from Win3.x, Microsoft took a "bold" statement, and sided with the idea, that, no longer would users of Win3.x have to contend with the "errors" they were getting in that version... Windows 95, would no longer have errors... Upon installing Windows' 95 OS, the user was "graced" with the GPF message, instead of the same error messages they were getting from there previous OS. ( problem resolved )

Microsft, then, tried the same "trick", when they released the new version, Windows 98 - Stating, that, no longer would users of Win95 have to deal with all the problems, and errors, marked as "GPF's", in the previous versions OS -=- so, users thought: "So, they got them all fixed in this 'new' version!" - kind of... the errors changed, yet again, from the familiar "General Protection Fault", to, "This program has performed an illegal operation..." error message. ( again, problem resolved )

Dont have a clue what Microsoft has done with any OS's after Win98 - I stopped upgrading them, after that release...

But, Microsoft, has been, a very good, source, of amuzement, for many years, for me

Ms. Cuddles